Although I didn't blog last night, I was pretty satisfied with myself. I was so exhausted that I didn't want to stay up to blog. Super psyched because I got a great pair of walking shoes and the Botanical Garden is on my way home! I'm planning on stopping there after work to walk for 30-60 mins each day when I don't have errands that I must do such as going to the bank before it closes. Yesterday, I completed approximately 40% of my goals again. Tonight it's 50% of my goals. Slowly seeing an increase in accomplishment makes me happy.
So yesterday mom, dad and I went to the mall to walk around and spend time together outside of home and not doing chores. I told them I'm going to see fireworks Friday and they're welcome to come but if they aren't ready on time, I'm leaving. Turns out they're not coming anyway! I will be going with a friend and maybe a friend of hers. I am somewhat regretting asking her to go though because I really just want to enjoy the fireworks in peace and solitude. There's just something about it that fills me up with joy and I just want to enjoy it to my hearts content without speaking or taking pictures before during or after. Welp, let's see how goes! I'm also juicing for 60 days -- juicing fast. I'm going to pump myself with nutrients and hope to see changes. It will be well worth it. I already made it known to family not to ask me about food. I should have purchased a scale today so I can track my weight loss. I will be sure to purchase one tomorrow. I'm seeing a change in my face and my energy level. I sort of am disgusted with consuming and consuming. It's not the unhealthy kind of disgusted, it's the healthy kind like tired of excessive consuming. I felt like this about pasta few months ago and it's been a very very long time that I've had pasta so I'm happy about this change for the better. Better late than never!
So I'm realizing my thoughts are all over the place in this blog and that's quite alright. I figured this much would happen when I started to make changes. My body and mind are freaking out on the surface level already. I can just imagine what it'll be for the next 60 days. It's going to get worse before it gets better...it usually does. Yoga and meditation should help; abhayanga should be a relief as well. I plan on getting at least a couple massages as well to allow the tension to settle. I've never been this determined about starting this before.
I spoke to my academic advisor today and I'll be getting a plan soon enough of what I need to do to graduate. I'm not that far but it's just a matter of them offering the classes. I'm not sure it'll be anytime this year but I'm still signed up for required classes at the community college here. Slowly but surely I'll get this finished and focus on lifting off for my career. I have to start reading the HTML5 and CSS3 book within a week so that I'm finished with it before my classes start. I also discovered a whole bunch of classes/training and books through work that will help me with PMP and soooo many other subjects. I might even try my hand at making an android app. Then I'll secretly hope some huge company will pay me gazillions for the app and I can retire early. Hey, a woman can dream can't she?! ;)
My dad wants to put my ad in the newspaper to look for a spouse. I said hey why not? I have absolutely nothing to lose. I've tried and tried all these years and I'm giving up the wheel. I'm trying new approaches and I will just sit back and enjoy the show. Right now in this very moment, I feel I have bigger fish to fry such as finishing school, losing weight, making sure I have a routine of meditating and doing yoga down before I take responsibility of anyone else or putting myself on their shoulders. Ask me again tomorrow though, might get a different response. No actually when it comes down to it, even when I'm bitching about being single and not having children yet, not having purchased my own home...I'm just frustrated with myself that I haven't achieved any of this. I secretly want to put life on pause so that I don't grow older and then master all these things or achieve all this so that I can have the type of spouse I want. The type of spouse I want wouldn't choose me as I am right this moment. I'm an example of insanity because I keep doing the same old things expecting different results but how can I get different results when deep down inside I keep giving the universe mixed signals?! Good Lord, I exhaust myself!
I will do this. All of this. One by one, before we all know it...this is going to happen and I will enjoy it for this moment will never come again. I must make the best of it!
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